Big is … er …er… bigger

Written by

Andrew Millar


March 11, 2009

We’re doing a little renovation at the moment and I discovered that the rear section of the house is staying where we put it, while the front is slowly moving towards the ocean. Now it isn’t of concern to me at all because in 30 years it’s only moved about 6mm. But our bedrooms are most definitely slowly heading for Brighton.

Now I figure that in 30,000 years we’ll have a terrific view of sunsets over water from our front windows but the walk to the kitchen would be a long one down a corridor made entirely of layers of Selley’s No More Gaps. It will be a little inconvenient but our house will be worth more because of it’s enormous size and the sea views…

If we can see the sea that is. Not that I fear global warming and pollution, we’ll find ways to correct these mistakes. My fear is that the sun will be blotted out by a passing Nissan Patrol the size of Ayers Rock. This will happen because, if current trends continue, by then cars will be confused with office blocks with wheels.

I noticed this while sitting at the traffic lights looking at the two cars ahead of me. Both BMW 323is. One 25 years old and still a great looking car by the way. The other was the current model. And I noticed the newer car dwarfed the older. This made me aware of other examples. Side by side the same comparison of Commodores reveals the same trend for a size increase with each superseded model. Each Mazda RX increases in size from the RX3 to the RX8. The latest Forester is larger than the previous model – like someone left it in the sun for a while and then blew it up with a bike pump. The new Mini is significantly bigger than the old Mini. Even the new Smart Car, sold on a proposition of being a small car for city use, is larger than the old Smart Car. And they are using the size increase as an advertising proposition. Is it only me that sees the irony in this?

So by the time my front window get a whiff of salt spray the average suburban commando warrior 4 Wheel drive will easily eclipse the sun at noon … but, I wager, will still be driven by a petite blond woman to drop two small children off at a private pre-school…